On one of the tips "Don't say 'Expert' unless you really mean it", what follows is an excerpt of it:
If you say you're an expert in something, many interviewers take it to mean you claim to have a bigger penis than they do, metaphorically speaking of course, and they're going to pull out their still highly metaphorical measuring stick during the interview and size you up. I employ this metaphor in its most gender-neutral possible interpretation, needless to say.
6 comments:
Somehow in Malaysia, saying that you are an expert helps.
Metaphorically speaking, the managers know they have small penises, so they are looking to hire someone with damn-big-penises to cover their asses and hopefully fuck some other guy with big penis.
Since they have small penises, you are expected to suck them in without much complaints.
Unfortunately so far I found none of those guys (technical peons, not those managers) really are big (or as big as they claimed they were). I do agree on the manager part.
It really depends on whose penis you are comparing to.
As they say in the porn industry, there's only one guy with the biggest penis and he's... forgot...
The point is, these days you only need a 10 incher to do the job when most are struggling to raise up their 4 incher. Even if in other countries 12 inchers are so common.
"Consultant" is often another absolutely outstanding synonym for "wanker". Now let me just add, before I get stabbed to death by eager members of the heavily armed Consultant Industry, that some consultants are great. The problem is that the odds are completely stacked against you in tech resume screening. It's like fast-food experience when applying to be a waiter at a fancy restaurant. It might have helped you hone your waiter skills, but the odds are against it, and a lot of the art of resume screening is about weighing odds.
Couldn't agree more with this. If I ever see a guy writing consultant on their resume, it's going straight into the trash can.
Anonymous: Since in technical field you can measure your prowess (or your metaphorical 'size') in more or less unequivocal, absolute terms, relative comparison is not something I want to pursue on. That was the reason I left BolehLand to KiasuLand.
S. Sayer: Don't overlook the fact the designations like 'senior', 'staff', 'senior staff', 'more senior than your dad', etc. are isomorphic, and therefore synonymous to 'wanking', 'old and wanking', 'very wanking', and 'massively wanking but useless', respectively. Yegge only gave a passing reference on the term 'senior', but there is lot of room to elaborate. ;)
I know of a guy who's our age and had senior consultant written on his name card. And that was 3 years ago! I felt really strange about that. Is he really experienced enough to be a consultant, much less a senior consultant?
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