How To Talk Like A Politician (Part II)

Given the recent turmoils in the little tea cup of Boleh-Land, it's so inspiring to see how some people are talking crap like politicians. Without further ado, we will start with the familiar price hikes.

Scenario - How to increase the price innocently:

Step 1 - Divide:

"The lorry is not set to carry only a can of milk, there is no reason for its (the milk) price to go up" - a Boleh-Land minister commenting on the increase of canned milk prices after the petrol price was hiked by a whopping 30%

His Main Point:

1. The price of canned milk shouldn't go up because the lorry is carry 'literally hundred cans' of milk, thus the marginal increase in cost for each can is 'negligible'.

Point He Shunned:

1. The price of canned milk has one and only one factor: the cost of transportation, and the increase in petrol will only affect people in only one way: in terms of transportation cost.

Step 2 - Compare:

1. To drive home the point everybody in Boleh-Land is so damn lucky and blessed, we should remind everybody the 'hefty prices' people in other countries in UK, Japan, US are 'suffering'.

"Look, our government is sacrificing for the sake the people and we have subsidized enormously on the oil price. You don't believe? In Japan the oil price is X, in UK it is Y, and in Spain it is Z, where X, Y, and Z are all numbers greater than the oil price in Boleh-Land (after conversion of currency, of course). I wonder why those Japanese, Britons and Americans aren't flocking to Boleh-Land in droves, hey, Boleh-Land is soooo good and cheap, right?

Step 3 - Give an Innocent Look :

This step is entirely optional and the politician won't give you this look actually. Only the poor people who are screwed will have this look.




How To Apply:
This will be left as homework for the reader. ;)